Willing to learn the effect positive language has on children? If so learn these top tips, tried and tested.

Using positive language is so crucial when it comes to communicating to our children. It is imperative that we use the right words because words either build you up or break you down,especially when relating to our children.

Have you ever heard of this saying when growing up; “sticks and stones can break my bones but words can do me no harm.” Now I am not certain who said that or where this saying comes from, but let us look at it closely.

Well there is no doubt that hitting someone will cause bodily harm, but have you ever been in a heated argument with someone you are close to? Have you ever told someone nasty hurtful words or have them told to you? After the argument was finish and you remember the words that have been said, how did you feel emotionally?

Well from mine experience it leaves you feeling sad with a heavy heart and emotionally drained. Even at times bringing tears to your eyes causing physical pain. So without a doubt words matters and it’s important we discipline ourselves to use positive language when communicating with our children.

On the other hand if we hear positive news or a happy outcome, it makes us smile and at times jump with excitement sharing that joy with others. Then it is fair to say that what we hear is internalized, passed from the conscious to the sub-conscious, then is acted out in our physical reality.

There is a wise saying in the bible that says; “life and death are in the power of the tongue.”

The words that we speak to our self or our children become a self fulfilling prophecy. So let us think about what we are about to say before saying it, because once it is spoken it cannot be taken back.

Using parenting with positive thinking guides us in using positive language to our children, even when we are very angry or frustrated. I don’t think that a parent would intentionally say things to cause harm to their child. However unfortunately it happens because of the way we are programme.

You see the words that we say to our children is directly responsible to building or damaging their self-esteem and confidence. Changing the way we say things and the words we use is not easy because it has become habitual, but you can use the power of positive thinking to help you. Just like bad habits are slowly formed step by step, likewise good habits takes time to form one step at a time.

Here are a few steps to get you on your way

• Feel the impact if someone used derogative words to you. Would you feel humiliated or belittled? If so this is how your child would feel.

• Avoid harsh criticisms and statement of labelling. Examples of such are; you are lazy or untidy, you will never be any good at school or sports.

• Stop blaming or ridiculing your child, you are part responsible for their behaviour. Remember they feed off our emotions and actions.

• Realise you have spoken ill of your child. We first have to recognise what we have done wrong before correcting it.

• Don’t be too hasty to speak and substitute harsh words for more acceptable ones. Remember thoughts come before speech.

Make a commitment to practise these positive language tips along with a good parenting programs to help you to become a better parent.

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